Chapter Twenty Five - Stupid Arrogant Haole

Rudy waited for Circe’s return all of the next day while occupying himself with the task of putting his home back into some semblance of order. When the phone rang at around 4 PM he knew it must be her but it was not. It was Raven.

“”Where have you been?” she asked. “I’ve been trying to call for two days.”

“Sorry,” he said, “I turned the ringer on my phone off so I could get some sleep and forgot to turn it back on.”

“Okay, well I have good news,” she said. “The show wrapped up early and all of my business in the Big Apple is done. I’m taking the red-eye tonight; can you pick me up in the morning?”

“Of course.”

“Rudy, you sound a little distant. Is everything okay?”

“Oh sure, I just miss you, that’s all. Everything is fine.” It didn’t seem like the time to get into everything that had gone on in the last few days.

“Good, I’ll see you in the morning then.” Raven sounded chipper, like usual.

Rudy hung up the phone and wondered how he would explain everything to her. A minute later, the phone rang again.

“Mr. Davis.” It was not a question.

“Yes?”

“Leonard Azeri here. Do you know who I am?”

“Yes, I’ve heard your name reviled in certain circles.” Rudy answered, feeling clever.

“I believe you have something that belongs to me.”

“Oh I seriously doubt that.” Rudy answered, trying to sound as incredulous as possible.

“I expected you might say something foolish like that but my lovely guest here says otherwise. Would you like to speak with her?” His words were slow and measured, confident.

“Not particularly.”

“Well, she would like to speak with you.”

“Rudy, for God’s sake, give them the briefcases. I left them under the house and now they say they’re gone.” Circe screamed into the phone. For once she was in a situation that she could not control.

“They’re serious, Rudy, they’ll kill me, they’ll do it. They checked the house and they’re not there. You took them, I know you did.”

Rudy laughed, “I guess this explains your sudden disappearance.”

“Rudy, please, help me.”

“You know, Circe, when this is all over you really should move to Hollywood. You’ll have to tone it down a bit though; you’re really playing this one a little over the top."

“Rudy, for God’s sake. This is for real.”

“So long.” Rudy answered. “Take care.”

This little drama was indeed a bit over the top as far as Rudy was concerned. He guessed that Circe had discovered the missing briefcases and had found some beach bum to play Azeri in her little scheme.

Even if Azeri did have her, he certainly wouldn’t hurt her until he had his merchandise. Besides, knowing Circe like he did, it was just a matter of time before she turned the tables and had Azeri against the ropes.

“Mr. Davis,” Leonard Azeri came back on the line.

“Oh please, Leo, call me Rudy.”

“Mr. Davis.” he repeated undaunted. “I want what belongs to me. No one has ever stolen from me and lived to tell about it and no one ever will. Are we clear?”

“Crystal, Leo.” Rudy replied. “Wish I could help but like I said, I don’t have anything that belongs to you.”

“I don’t think you’ll be so amused with yourself when your girlfriend comes floating onto your little private beach, face down.”

Leonard was clearly growing agitated. Circe must have been coaching him in the background.

“Well, I’ll tell you what, Leo. She’s not my girlfriend and I think that she’s probably safer with you than with me, right now, so you just do whatever you think is best.”

“Perhaps you don’t understand who you are dealing with, Mr. Davis. I...”

“Perhaps you don’t understand that I don’t much give a shit, Leo. Perhaps the local police would be interested in...” Rudy was interrupted by Leonard’s laughter.

“Yes, Mr. Davis,” Leonard said between chuckles, “perhaps the local police can help you out. Be sure to give them my regards.” The laughter left his voice. “I want you on the pier in Kaunakakai with my property at six AM. Do not disappoint me. You are obviously naïve, don’t be stupid as well.” Click.


The air was clean, as it always is after early morning rain, and Rudy would have enjoyed the drive to the airport immensely if he hadn’t been so preoccupied.

He was pondering how to explain the last week to Raven. Most of it didn’t make sense to him, how was he to make sense of it to her? He guessed that she’d especially like the part where his ex-girlfriend spent the night in his house, even omitting the part where she had her hand on his erection. Or would her favorite part be that Rudy and Leonard Azeri had become such fast friends? If only he’d stayed in Utah for an extra week while she was in New York.

He sat at the terminal curb waiting for Raven to emerge from the baggage claim while automated voices droned on about parking at the terminal curb. Fifty feet away, Raven emerged with a bag slung over her shoulder. She flashed her irrepressible smile when she saw him and his heart skipped a beat. He was so totally in love with this woman that he felt like a Jr. High kid with his first crush every time he looked at her. She had a zeal for life unlike anyone he’d ever known.

As he was climbing out of the 2002 to greet her, the door on a Limo parked next to the curb opened and a large Hawaiian shoved Raven inside and then dived in beside her. Before Rudy even realized what was happening, the Lincoln was screeching away from the curb.

Rudy jumped back in his car and sped away, cutting off a Toyota Corolla as he shifted into second gear. He caught the corner of the Corolla’s front bumper and ripped it right off the car. He glanced in the mirror just in time to see it spin across the road. An angry man jumped out of the car and waved frantically for him to stop.

He followed the limo onto the Nimitz Highway and darted between cars in an effort to catch up. The Lincoln had a good head start and traffic was heavy, as it is pretty much everywhere in Honolulu at pretty much any time. He was gaining ground but not quickly. The limo turned off the Nimitz and onto the H-1 freeway; an interstate highway on Oahu, now there’s a concept.

Just as Rudy reached the on-ramp, a tour bus full of geriatric men and blue haired women turned onto the ramp ahead of him. He swerved onto the shoulder without slowing down and sprayed the bus with gravel as he sped past, taking out a highway marker in the process. The Lincoln had crested the hill ahead and temporarily disappeared from his sights, which made him very nervous until he crested the same hill and it came into view again, closer this time.

Traffic was beginning to thin out as they exited onto H-3 and climbed the foothills toward the Like-Like tunnel above the city. This was good because he knew that the overweight Lincoln could never keep pace with his little red speedster, if he could just find some open road. Half a mile before they reached the tunnel he stole a quick glance at the speedometer. It read 125.

At a hundred and twenty five miles per hour, your world becomes condensed. There’s the road stretching out in front of you like a wriggling snake and a blur of color to either side. If you take our eyes off the snake for even an instant, it is likely to wriggle right out from under you.

A slower car in the right lane flashed past so fast that Rudy couldn’t even tell what color it was. He caught the limo at the tunnel entrance and slowed to 95 as he pulled up on its bumper.

When they entered the tunnel, the Lincoln hit the brakes. Smoke pouring up from all four tires while the Limo slid sideways and stopped in the middle of the tunnel, blocking both lanes. Rudy slid to a sideways stop inches before they collided.

As soon as he opened the door, a hand reached in and yanked him from the car and onto the hard pavement. Before he knew what was happening he was being kicked and hit by at least two people, maybe more. He couldn’t tell how many for sure because the blows were coming too fast and furious. All he could do was curl into a fetal position and try to cover the vital parts.

When the barrage was over, they all ran back to the car except for the guy that Rudy had seen push Raven into the car. He bent over Rudy and screamed into his bloody face.

“You better get your haole ass back home and wait for the boss to call. He wants to talk to you. You really fucked up this time, you stupid haole asshole.”

Rudy lay bloody on the ground helplessly watching the Limo speed away. The BMW’s door was still open and the buzzer screamed mercilessly at him.

What an idiot. What a total and complete fucking moron he was, a stupid haole asshole, just like the man had said. Some hero; exactly what did he think he was going to do when he caught the Limo?

He’d done just about everything wrong in the last few days and now he was in deep shit. Someone he loved was in jeopardy because he was a stupid, arrogant haole asshole, talking to one of the worlds most powerful drug dealers like he was a street thug.

A car pulled up and an old Japanese couple got out and began snapping pictures and shouting “A-row-ha, A-row-ha”. Aloha my ass, he thought, not for the first time.

He slowly picked himself up from the street and hobbled toward the car. His face was covered in blood and every breath he took was agonizing. They’d broken at least a dozen of his ribs, he was certain.

No more mistakes, he thought as he sped toward the duplex. From now on I use my head. I need a plan... and some help.